Monica Grey
Relationship Counseling
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Do you seem to "have it all together" in all parts of your life: work, school, friendships -- but when you go home to your partner, you fall apart and some of your worst feelings and tendencies come out. No one can trigger our issues and negative feelings or our deepest feelings of love and connection like our partner can. This common human experience is both a blessing and a curse. Those who challenge us the most are often our greatest teachers. When we love someone, we are compelled to learn to work through our obstacles and emotional baggage, in order to create a harmonious relationship. Nothing accelerates our personal growth like a relationship.

Working with couples from a transpersonal perspective, is a meeting of souls. Good couple's counseling is experiential -- that is -- you have an experience with your partner. Change occurs most profoundly in this way, rather than by telling the therapist all your problems with your partner and having arguments and debates about what happens at home and why. In therapy, you enter a safe environment where you can see your partner with new eyes -- in the present moment. The role of a therapist is to provide a space where communication can take place and with insight, wisdom and awareness the individuals come into a space where they can meet heart to heart. Accepting differences in perspective, values and opinions and learning to negotiate life issues enhances the couples ability to live together and continue to focus on the positive and the reason they came together in the first place.

Are you in an unconscious relationship?

When we become stuck in old patterns of behavior with our partner and keep repeating these habits despite feelings of frustration, boredom, fear, and emptinessware "unconscious" in our relationship. It's like sleep walking. Going throughthe motions without any real conscious intent or mindfulness. Some people are avoiders, not wanting to challenge their partner or change their routine for fear of making waves, causing a conflict or risking abandonment. Some are drama junkies - addicted to getting regular fixes of high level emotional interaction, and feeling that this is what makes an intimate relationship. It may feel like intimacy to be jealous, yell and argue with your spouse, and have great make-up sex -- but this is just another form of unconsciousness and is not true intimacy.